Just under ten thousand showed up for the final game of the season against Scunthorpe United and what a game it was. The Rovers faithful didn’t have to wait long to hear Tom Hark as Forrester was scythed down on the left hand side and Bennett’s resulting free kick was powered into his own net in convincing style by Scunthorpe defender and failure at life Niall Canavan.
Five minutes later Scunthorpe endured another hilarious moment as Wellens sprinted 20 yards to keep the ball in play near the right sided corner flag only to play a terrible back pass to Rob Jones who was so slow to react he appeared to be a walking tree whose roots were still stuck deep in the ground. Kevin van Veen picked up the loose ball and in the resulting scramble the ball fell to Neal Bishop who somehow contrived to hit the bar from 8 yards out with Marosi in no man’s land. Cue huge ironic cheering from the South Stand.
Scunthorpe’s glorious misery was further compounded on 33 minutes when the lively Forrester performed a bit of skill that left me hiding my erection from my fiancé before cutting inside and setting Kyle Bennett free on the right hand side to hang a perfect cross up to the middle of the goal for Tyson to bundle home.
Rovers surprised everyone by continuing to look like an actual football team, unlike in recent weeks, showing passion and composure to keep Scunny at arm’s length with Evina of all people looking solid and Jones and Butler dealing with a series of corners convincingly. Just before half time an unusually quiet Coppinger created a yard of space for himself to fire in a low shot from 20 yards which was parried round the post by Scunthorpe keeper and general bad human being Luke Daniels. Forrester whipped in the resulting corner and Rob Jones headed home almost as emphatically as all round joke Niall Canavan earlier in the half.
So Rovers went in 3-0 up at half time much to the amazement of the fans and most of the players. Alarm bells were ringing early in the second half when Scunny dominated possession resulting in the now inevitable ridiculous piece of defending and a goal for Scunthorpe. An innocuous ball into the box was somehow not dealt with by first Jones, then Marosi, then Butler with all three stumbling around like new born baby deer before the ball came back off the post and hit a confused looking Andy Butler and trickled into an empty net. Not surprisingly this led to Scunthorpe’s best period of the match but a lot of possession and balls into the box heralded few chances with Rovers rearguard remaining strong and Dean Furman mopping up well in the middle of the park.
On 67 minutes we saw a sign of things to come as a rare Rovers breakaway saw a majestic ball over the top from Wellens to put Bennett through on goal albeit at a difficult angle but Bennett struggled to get the ball out of his feet and the chance went begging. More fruitless Scunthorpe possession followed but they didn’t heed the warning from Rovers previous counter attack with Wellens again playing a brilliant long ball to Harry Forrester who drew a quite frankly ridiculous tackle from one of the Scunny lot in the box. Forrester was going nowhere and had two players marking him. Tyson stepped up confidentally and sent the keeper the wrong way to put Rovers 4-1 up.
Things went from bad to worse for poor old Scunthorpe as brilliant run from Forrester starting thirty yards from Scunthorpe’s goal and ending with him being completely taken out in the box after already beating two men. Tyson again stepped up this blasting straight down the middle to send the Rovers fans into rapture and also evoking memories of a certain famous Mickey Norbury hat trick. Scunny’s players and few remaining fans seemed to want the game over as soon as possible so other than the introduction of former Rovers favourite Dave Syers (to a nicely observed ovation from the Rovers fans) on 81 minutes nothing else much happened until added time when Rovers decided to let the clowns out of the clown car one last time this season with another laughable goal conceded. 18 year old Scunthorpe forward Hakeeb Adeola Abiola Ayinde Adelakun (this is honestly his name) clipped a free kick into the box only for all our defenders to miss it and rookie goalkeeper Marko Marosi to inexplicably decide to leapfrog over the ball.
While this took the sheen off an otherwise brilliant win ever so slightly, Nathan Tyson has written his name in the Rovers history books forever and Dickov should be encouraged by a much improved performance and a blindingly good showing from Harry Forrester.
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